Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize