every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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