Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
operation have a gay friend backfired
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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