Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize