I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
