i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
