the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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