I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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