Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize