If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
