If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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