and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
