I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
