I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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