After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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