Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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