You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
