Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
