All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Randomize