i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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