I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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