I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
