white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
