whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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