The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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