Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
