She is in my trunk
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
