3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
