I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Randomize
