His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
tell me about the fingering
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
