Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
You ruined the universe
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
