Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
