The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize
