JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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