guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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