Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
