I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
