Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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