if i can run in heels then i can drive
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Randomize
