8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
