yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Randomize
