Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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