brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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