Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
We need to get me chipped asap
Randomize
