Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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