Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Jerry, you need to find god
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Randomize
