I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Drunk walkin through police station. America
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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