Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
He felt like a one man threesome
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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