just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Randomize
