I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
