Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
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