ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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