he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
