I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
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I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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