i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
