I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize