Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
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I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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