Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
