i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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