we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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