omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
