I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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