dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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