i just wanna soil my oats bro
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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