Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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