you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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