I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
