When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Randomize
