its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
